Well I have a date for the op - Tuesday 9th October. Yikes! As co-incidence would have it it's five years plus one day since I had the mastectomy which made me realise just how long this road to "recovery" really is.
I've been thinking a lot
about my cancer lately and wonder if it is due to the five year milestone. My over-riding feeling is one of frustration. I am frustrated in myself for not allowing the cancer to transform my life for the better. I feel like I should have cut out the toxic
things in my life by now and the simple truth is that I haven't. I kick myself for not letting the cancer be the biggest ever wake up call and to sort my life out in order to spend more time with the people I love and doing the things I love.
the same soul destroying job I've been in for the last 15 years in an industry i've been in for the last 23 years and, really, if a cancer diagnosis doesn't give me the kick up the arse to change then what will?
I know I'm probably being too hard on
myself but I want to live a life that inspires me and also inspires my children to be anything they want. I think I'll get this op out of the way then really kick on with #projectchange. Watch this space!
I'm a bit nervous about the operation but I
am also really looking forward to seeing the results and being the most "even" i've been for years. As rotten luck would have it my husband is in for back surgery on Friday 5th October so we have an army of helpers lined up to keep the house
running as smoothly as possible whilst we both recuperate. I can't imagine how extraordinary difficult this would be without the support of family and friends. Thank you all!