It's all gone tits!

Tits up.

Well what had a chance of happening has indeed happened.

Of course it has. This is me we're talking about.

It hasn't just happened. It happened about 8 months ago. Remember, though, this is me we're talking about and i'm just getting it sorted now.

My left boob has taken on all the properties of a rock. It has also dropped a tad so i'm left with a most attractive ridge across the top. I tried lifting it with a push up bra but it just makes it look worse so I dragged my sorry self off to see Dr Chandreshakar last November to get the ball rolling with a fix.

He examined said boob and assured me he could fix it with lipomodelling. The process involves using fat from my tummy, thighs or flanks. I'll say that again. Flanks. Brilliant. This fat is then placed in to the boob and, voila, all is well again.

He reckons it could take up to 3 goes to get the desired result and I joked that, with my modest size, it would probably be done after one go. If you remember he was the one who kept going on about my bee sting boobs back in the day so I was just beating him to it.

5 months later I got a letter from the Royal Hospital telling me my operation was booked for Saturday 14th May with my pre-op on 5th May. Sweet Baby Jesus.

I duly attended my 10am pre-op yesterday at 10.01am. Getting better aren't I? Still had to peg it from the cheap car park though (£3 all day. Much better than Q-Park)

Anyway David and I found ourselves in the same ward as the Pink button covered penguin. Remember him? I took a sneaky pic so you can see him.

It felt really weird to be back in the same place 2 and a half years later. When I was last on that ward in late 2013 I was about to have a breast removed and be told if my cancer was invasive or not. I got to thinking about the other women I shared a ward with and hoped that they, too, were doing okay.

I was in the pre-op for just over 3 hours and, in that time, told 24 people that I had no allergies, was measured and weighed, had an ECG, blood pressure and temperature taken, chest listened to, calf examined (no idea!), measured for surgical stockings (that they recommended I wear for 6 weeks post op. Try six hours), had more photos taken for Titbook and, as a final treat, got to go to the phlebotomy dept to give 7 vials of blood. Love that word. Phlebotomy.

Don't love the place though. I was number 73 on the ticket system and there were about 6 nurses taking blood. Early on I had identified the nurse I wanted to take my blood. He seemed really friendly and called everyone "Darling" and "Sweetheart". He seemed to be the person least likely to cause me pain. 72 was on the screen as I observed him finish his last patient. Yay, I thought, as he came out to press the buzzer over to 73. And that was when some bloody woman decides to intercept him and ask him if they have any plastic cups for the water machine. Nooooooo!!

In my head I am screaming obscenities at her and watch in dismay as a nurse who looks about 12 is also finishing up. I can't be jabbed my Dougie Howser MD. It is a race between my chosen nurse and the boy wonder. My guy is returning with the cups. He approaches the water machine and places them in the holder. He turns back to the ticket counter. The boy wonder is heading that way aswell. The atmosphere is tense. Okay it's only tense in my head but nevertheless....

My guy just gets there in time. He has longer legs than the little fella on the basis that the kid hasn't finished growing yet.

Aaah I'm so pleased. I walk over to my guy and apologise as I tell him how piss poor my veins are at giving blood. I was right, though,he is lovely. He sits me down, puts that band thing round my arm, tells me to make a fist and says "I think i'll get Julie for this one"

What? I think. Who is Julie? Is she the resident vampire currently having a little upside down nap? Will she be completely pissed off that she has been disturbed and take it out on my poor arm?

Julie is uber efficient at taking blood but she is by no means gentle. She fair harpoons a vein and gets as much blood as she can before the vein stops playing ball.

I leave the hospital and go back to work. When I get to my office there is a gorgeous bunch of flowers from the people I work with and, with that kind gesture, the sun comes out and my day gets better.

I have to return back to the ward on Friday 13th (yup) for a shot of Fragmin (which I keep calling Fragma. Which then puts Toca's Miracle in my head all day!) and then I am in for the op at 7o'clock the next morning.

I shall take my laptop and keep you all updated.....

 

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Latest comments

20.12 | 20:45

Hi Dave,
Thanks for the kind words.
I did indeed work in North Cyprus back in the day - Turkbet?
Donna

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18.12 | 11:06

Hi Donna, remarkable, uplifting and inspiring read.
Did you ever work in North Cyprus around 10 years ago?
Dave

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15.10 | 17:15

Hi Donna, you are so inspiring. I have just had my 2nd mastectomy 8 days ago out of choice, first one was 5 months earlier as small cancer found.well done you

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30.09 | 15:12

well done for finishing EPI!

I can't send a longer response on here but would like to share my experience of CMF at dvfox76@aol.com or the forum on macmillan.

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